Here I am now, having experienced so much. I feel whole perspective might have changed. College really opens you up to the world. I have so many subjects I need to focus on, from saving money and getting a good education, to staying social and happy in life. This is reality, people. And it’s not even real reality, yet. I’m still living off my parents and financial aid, coming back to a “home” during breaks and a weekend or two. Part of me really can’t wait until I have my own home, my own place to come back to, or to never leave.

Classes? They aren’t exactly the best. I’ve always struggled with learning and education. It’s always like walking underwater for me, I have to go at it slow and steady. But in the end, I’m proud of my achievements. I always end up doing the best I can, and really accepting it.

Social life? I guess I have one now. I transitioned from the quiet-needs-to-get-to-know-you-first kid, to, being rather open from the start. I’m still a bit cautious around people, but it doesn’t last very long. I was just telling my friend last night how I’ve changed when it comes to being social. College has allowed me to be more open, more myself. But hey, I can actually converse with people. I’ve met so many new and wonderful people. Santa Cruz is really one of the friendliest and possibly happiest places to be.

Creativity? I’ve lost in touch with my creative side a little, unfortunately. I mean, I’ve still been creative. I still doodle. I also decorate my room in random ways. However, I haven’t designed much, made much art, or really had any inspiration. I was forced to make an experience poster for one of my classes, and it felt so wrong. It felt like I was shoving my talent into something I didn’t want to make. But I feel artsy again lately. I redesigned my portfolio just recently, and I’ve made yet another random short film. It seems these films help me pick up on being creative and break through that artist’s block I get a lot.

Dorm life? I really love my dorm. Absolutely. Sure, it’d be great to have my own personal bathroom, but aside from that, my room is my sanctuary. It’s become my favorite place to be. I’ve decorated it in such a way that I can actually breathe and be at peace after a busy day. And my hallmates have been the best bunch of film-lovers. Being in a film/digital media hall really has its perks. There’s always something that you share in common with people, be it a favorite good movie, or a favorite book.

Speaking of books, I’ve finally read a bunch this week. One book was from my Summer ’10 list, like No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July, which I loved. It was really interesting, I like good short stories. I also just finished Shoplifting from American Apparel by Tao Lin, and am starting his other book, Richard Yates. His writing style is very different, and is starting to make me think a little differently, perhaps more straightforward. It’s been a bit difficult to read his writing for a long period of time, though. Miranda July’s writing was much more smooth and fluid. I’ve yet to be able to really describe Tao Lin’s writing style.

So, I’ll be returning to the college life once more, and I’ll probably end up not writing in this blog until summer time again. It’s hard to keep up with a blog when you’re at college. I’ve still been writing, of course, just more personal writings that I have in a private journal, elsewhere. I guess I can never stop writing, it’s something that’s really important to me. Writing helps get out your thoughts, your feelings. It’s a way to clear your mind, and help yourself be at ease.

Also, it’s springtime! This spring is going to be a brilliant one, I just know it.

I move in to college pretty soon. It’s a little scary to think about it. In a few days, I won’t have my own room, a place I consider a sanctuary at all times. I’ll be living in a new city, a beautiful one, but a new one. I’ll be learning new, different things, expanding my perspectives beyond the education I received in high school. I’ll be experiencing new, and different things as well. I’ll be meeting new people, making new friends. So much new. It’s really terrifying and awful, both the positive and negative definitions of those two adjectives.

I really don’t know what to expect. It’s a big step for me. High school was a big step. Socially, especially. I spent half of high school being incredibly shy. Slowly but surely, I’ve been able to crawl out of the shell I had built myself years prior. And really, even now, I still find communication difficult. I’m what some call “socially awkward” – but I’m trying to fix that. I don’t know how I will act when I’m presented college experiences, how I’ll act when meeting new people constantly, or how I’ll act when given difficult tasks to complete. Would I be the same as I was in freshman year? Or maybe, I’ll be able to be bigger than that, stronger than I used to be. It all worries me as much as it worries me to leave my room, my family, my friends behind, for a new life, it seems.

But I want it. I do want to start this new life. I want to meet new people, and I’d like to believe that things can be less difficult for me socially. I suppose this entry is another rant of some sort. Most are. This blog is really just one of the ways I can write out my frustrations… as well as make money… (from…those ads… over there… cough).

Anyway, I hope you, reader, are having a lovely day, and don’t completely judge me based on this journal entry. But if I ever am socially awkward, respect and accept! As one should with most people-related issues.

Below is a list of books I will hopefully read over the summer of 2010:

1. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer (read)
2. Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi (read)
3. Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky (read)
4. No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July
5. Lolita by Vladmire Nabokov (reading)
6. Push: A Novel by Sapphire
7. Persepolis 2 by Marjane Satrapi (read)
8. Angels of America by Tony Kushner (read)
9. House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski
10. The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
11. Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
12. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
13. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner

I’ll definitely add some more once I remember them. Have any recommendations?

Reason Five:

“Coffee Day”, an official coffee day in Japan. It’s on October 1st. Actually, I’m not all that sure if this is official official. But it seems to be. Even so, I’d celebrate it. Plus they have a lot of little cafes and bakeries so that’s just good enough.

Reason Four:

Anime is a normal thing to watch in Japan. Enough said? I think so. (Plus you get to chase around anime directors and manga artists like Hayao Miyazaki and Tite Kubo)

Reason Three:

Politeness. I feel like I’m being racist, but I really am not. I just know that Japanese people (at least when i visited Japan) are extremely kind and friendly. Everyone was so polite. Things are kept clean. I really liked that about Japan, maybe one of the main reasons I enjoyed visiting.

Reason Two:

Sushi and other Japanese foods. I just love Japanese food. Sushi is delicious, and their teriyakis and tempuras and all that are just great. I also love how eloquently everything is served and such. Chopsticks may be my enemy sometimes, but nonetheless I love Japanese restaurants. I need to expand my palette, so if you have any recommendations please comment!

Reason One:

Cherry blossoms. This one is definitely thanks to Kelly ’cause I had completely forgotten about it. Cherry blossoms are such amazing flowers that grow on such amazing cherry trees in Japan. (Sakura!) In Japan they have Cherry Blossom Festivals when the blossoms are in bloom. We have them in the US and such too, now, like in SF, and DC – I’m really hoping I can attend one in Japan one day, though. I consider this to be the best reason because they are just so beautiful. I immediately think spring when I see them.

And there are my reasons to move to Japan, or just visit it. Last time I visited Japan was … a while ago, maybe six years? I can’t remember the exact number, but I really need to revisit! Do you like Japan? What are your own reasons for liking the amazing sakura-filled country?

P.S. If you like it when I share songs/videos/photos and such, check out my tumblr – it’s filled with random things I find online, and in other tumblr blogs. :) Enjoy!

P.S.S. If you’re getting bothered by the ad links and lovely ad at the bottom of this page, I’m sorry, but I’m kind of in a greedy phase right now (or poor reality…same thing?), so…erm… yeah.

So, graduation. It was hot, not too hot, but hot. I felt it passed by way too quickly. But it was good. I graduated. I was happy. It felt strange to think that I won’t ever be in high school again. That I went to high school, not go. Right? It’s strange. But a relief. I’m now a college freshman, I’m about to start a new chapter in my life. New experiences. It’s scary, really. I expect things to be different. I’m hoping to meet new people, make new friends, all that. I wonder what kind of friends I’ll have this time next year. What kind of things I’ll be doing the summer after my freshman year. What kind of new experiences will I have gone through? We’ll see I guess. I wonder if I’ll still be blogging then.

After graduation I got sick with something cold-like. I got better and enjoyed going out with friends a bit (feeling a little on a leash with the amount my parents let me get out) I got sick again the next week (last week) with a flu-like sickness. Fevers and such. Really wasn’t that great of a summer experience. I did go running last Monday though. I like to think that I run, when really I rarely do. I want to, just lack motivation. It was a nice run, but getting sick right after it sucked. Someone told me maybe it was a sign my body doesn’t need running. But really now, I think it does. I felt really great right after it, really healthy. And trust me when I say, I don’t really eat all that healthy. I try, but I should really eat more fruit. I like fruit, but again, I’m kind of lazy… But I have a high metabolism. I don’t know if I should consider it a good thing, seeing as sometimes I feel so scrawny. But I suppose it’s better than being obese? Eventually I’ll need to start watching how and what I eat, cause it’s all going to catch up to me. This paragraph definitely turned into a rant.

Aside from being randomly sick sometimes, I’m enjoying summer. It’s… summer. I’m trying to get a job, applying to some places. Hopefully I get in somewhere. I’d love to work in a friendly environment. Like a bookstore, or a cafe. We’ll see how that goes, I guess. Have a good summer whoever reads my blog entries. :)

But like I said, unfortunately for my tongue, hot beverages are hot. That would probably explain why they’re called hot and not warm. So where am I going with this? Well, I burnt my tongue today, like I do often. Why? No no, being impatient wasn’t my problem this time. I’m sure of it. I believe it was just unluckiness, some foreign force testing my understanding of chemistry and heat conservation or something. So story time children, gather around.

The wooden coffee stirrer lied. After swishing the coffee about with all my might after dumping 3 packets of Splenda sugar, I decided to lick the stirrer like how kids lick the spoon covered in frosting or cake batter or something sweet after it’s done being used. I was expecting it to be hot, but for some reason (probably chemistry, or the Gods enjoying my misery), it wasn’t. It was warm, and tasted wonderful. I immediately closed my coffee cup’s cap and took a sip, expecting more of this lovely taste, thinking Wow, whoever made this kept the temperature just right! And then I burnt my tongue.

Maybe I exaggerate a little, you must be thinking my tongue is probably red and throbbing in pain. It’s just feels a bit scratchy, you know that feeling, we’ve all had felt that feeling on our tongues… and if you haven’t, I hate you, but not really, keep reading my blog posts. Moral, don’t underestimate the power and burning sensation of coffee, and hot beverages in general. :)

• Cal Poly San Luis Obispo – waitlisted
• San Diego State University – accepted
• UC Berkeley – rejected
• UC Los Angeles – rejected
• UC San Diego – rejected
• UC Santa Barbara – accepted (after waitlist)
• UC Santa Cruz – accepted

At first I was considering seeing if I got into Cal Poly after waitlist stuff is over (I suppose I still will), but I figured UCSC is better science-wise, and after all my major is Bioengineering. San Diego State isn’t bad either, but I hear UCs are a lot better faculty-education wise? I’m not sure, but I kind of already liked UCSC from when I first interviewed someone who attends there during junior year. Plus I like the lovely Santa Cruz Beach. :)

So right, I’ve basically decided I will be going to UC SANTA CRUZ, but I still want to visit it before officially accepting. Plus, it’s required to decide the top five colleges I want to be affiliated with over there, and I’m still a bit indecisive on which ones. Hopefully when I visit, I’ll be more certain of which five.

I am a bit disappointed with the other UC results. I was hoping UCSD would take me, and UCLA and Cal were my tops. Nonetheless, I am absolutely relieved that I’ve gotten into places, and that I’ve gotten into a UC, which was my goal. I don’t know what I would’ve done if none of them had taken me. I probably should have applied to some privates, maybe that was a bad decision on my behalf. Oh well, too late!

Sorry if this was a lame read, not much interesting things have been happening. Yay Banana Slugs. And don’t you just love the picture below? :)

Banana Slugs, do they eat children?

Anyway, my point, hello! Reader! I certainly hope someone is reading this. I know I spam (oh the irony…) people with links to my blog posts, through twitter, facebook, tumblr, and anything else I can think of. But I want to know, who is actually interested and reading this. Who is my audience? Should I write more often? Less often?

So tell me in a comment! Who are you? What’s up? Why are you reading my blog? Why aren’t you reading my blog? (oh oh oh)

What do you think? Make sure to view their descriptions on their portfolio pages as some of them have links to full versions on dA :)

Have an awesome week! Can’t wait for the weekend. :P